I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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