alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
