Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
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He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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