you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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