So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I think my moral compass just broke
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