Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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