I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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