should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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