How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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