beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
