I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
