Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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