I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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