I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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