dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
