I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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