i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
being pregnant is like rehab
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just puked most of my soul out..
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