I want to stick my p in your. b.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
