'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
