Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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