i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
