I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
