I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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