No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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