Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
