STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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