Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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