I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
