no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
