I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
