Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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