so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
