kristin has been a bad kristin
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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