what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
