Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
