Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
