All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
