Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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