I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
