Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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