So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
smell my finger.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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