dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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