So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
