Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
