at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
