True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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