if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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