i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
