If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
