You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
