What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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