On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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