On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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