Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
