I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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